Tales of the Parodyverse

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Al B. Harper
Sun Apr 23, 2006 at 03:20:28 am EDT
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Al B. Harper Chapter 15: Hatman – The Search tie-in
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Al B. Harper Chapter 15: Hatman – The Search

Hatman heard a tentative knock at the door that roused him from his pondering. “Come in!” he called out, as Cody Harper entered the room

“Cody,” Hatman said from behind Mumphrey’s impressive mahogany desk – Hatman hadn’t rearranged the office out of deference to the old man, and also given that he was still technically just acting in the Lair Chairman position. “What can I do for you?”

Hatman’s easy affability with young people aided in relaxing Cody.

“Dad said I should see you about the possibility of making some extra money or something, said you had a position available?” the young boy shrugged and ran his hand through his hair – partly in an effort to stop his long-ish fringe from falling over his eyes.

“You want to apply for the Lair Legion Leader Administrative Assistant position?”

“Err…so that’s the job?” queried Cody.

“I thought you were doing some shifts down at the Bean ‘n’ Donut?” Hatman asked.

Cody shrugged again – in that way teenagers do so well. “My hours have been cut back. Everyone is real spooked by this 1066 stuff, no one is going out – not even for coffee anymore.”

Hatman shook his head. “Yeah, it’s bad.” Before he could continue, his computer started to beep. “Excuse me Cody,” he said, “with Hallie unavailable at the moment we’re having to take all incoming calls manually – this looks like it is an incoming call on a secure line from one of the world’s governments. From..err…Bovoria?”

Hatman pressed a few buttons on his computer – and the screen on the wall behind him suddenly lit up with his computer screen. A moustachioed man in a grey suit appeared on it, flapping his arms around like he was trying to impersonate a chicken. Hatman turned up the sound.

“Roustbadote strudle rankasheien mit angst ein varigsheim!” the man screamed into the screen.

“Huh?” Hatman queried.

“He’s speaking Bovorian. Says he knows the Lair Legion were behind the assassination attempt on the life of the Glorious Leader through our agent - Fritz the Barnstorming Monkey.” Cody Harper interpreted.

“Mehchenfiller overbiuge nacht eist leiberlacht foible raject louprakshaven eingrabeicht!” the man screamed some more.

“Huh?” Hatman said again…he would have put his Bovorian Knights hat on his head – but he was somewhat stunned by the insane screaming of the man.

“Said the Glorious Leader will do all he can to ensure the Lair Legion will suffer greatly because of this cowardly attempt on his life, and ManMan will suffer greatest.”

“Fark Ov!” the man screamed again, and the screen went black.

“Err…I doubt I need to translate that one.” Cody said with a smile.

Hatman looked at Cody. “Ok, I have no idea what that was all about, but it showed me one thing, you have some interesting powers that could be handy in a role like this.”

Cody shrugged again. “Thanks, but, all the same, I don’t really think I’m the secretary type. I’m sure I’d be crap at taking notes and writing correspondence. Besides, Fashion Accessory already told me she was hoping to get the job.”

“She did?” Hatman looked surprised.

“Yeah, and I’d rather not do anything to cause any extra friction with anyone around here at the moment, everyone is really edgy right now.”

“Well, if you’re sure…let me know when your next shift at the Bean ‘n’ Donut is at any-rate, and I’ll put in an order for some take-out.” Hatman smiled at the boy.

“Sure thing, and thanks.” Cody exited the room, and left Hatman alone to his pondering once more.

Al B. Harper


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